Most of us treat feeling “stuck” as a personal flaw. When we hit an invisible wall in our career, our creative pursuits, or our personal lives, our first instinct is usually frustration. We tell ourselves we just need more willpower, better discipline, or a louder alarm clock. We try to push harder against the exact same door, wondering why it won’t budge.
But what if feeling blocked isn’t a sign that you are broken or lazy? What if that heavy, resistant feeling is actually evidence that you have grown, and that the mental rules you built years ago are simply too small for the person you are becoming?
The Autopilot Built to Protect You
Early in my career, I spent twenty years working in aeronautical engineering and safety-critical systems. When you design a control system for an aircraft, its primary job is stability and protection. You program boundaries into the system so that if conditions get turbulent, it automatically corrects course and stays within a safe envelope.
The human mind works in a remarkably similar way. Over the course of our lives, through school, family expectations, early careers, and painful experiences, we quietly write our own internal software. We create unspoken rules designed to keep us safe from rejection, failure, burnout, or embarrassment:
- “Only speak up when you are 100% certain you have the right answer.”
- “Stick to what is sensible and predictable; don’t risk looking foolish.”
- “Keep pushing through exhaustion, your worth is tied to how much you produce.”
- “Put everyone else’s needs first so you don’t rock the boat.”
Here is the crucial thing to realise: at some point in your life, those rules worked. They helped you survive a difficult environment, pass exams, build a respectable career, or keep the peace. Your mind didn’t create those blocks to sabotage you; it created them to protect you.
When Safety Turns Into a Cage
The problem arises when your life changes, or your soul starts calling for something different, but your internal control system is still running the old software.
When I left a twenty-year career in the Civil Service to become a self-employed photographer, I walked straight into a wall of these invisible blocks. In engineering and project management, certainty, structure, and predictability were everything. Suddenly, in the creative world, there was no manual. Putting creative work out into the world meant inviting subjective judgement. It meant being comfortable with vulnerability and not knowing how every step would unfold.
"What we call a ‘mental block’ is often just an old protection strategy doing its job a little too well in a chapter where it’s no longer needed."
Similarly, when life throws health challenges or personal adversity into our path, the old rule of “just push harder and power through” stops working overnight. When your energy is finite, brute force doesn’t clear the block, it deepens it.
How to Gently Dismantle a Block
When you stop fighting yourself and start viewing your blocks with curiosity rather than judgement, the tension begins to soften. Instead of asking, “What is wrong with me?”, you can begin a calmer, far more useful conversation with yourself.
1. Name the Old Rule
Think of an area in your life where you feel procrastinatory, anxious, or stuck right now. Beneath the surface hesitation, what is the unspoken rule? Perhaps it’s, “If I can’t do this perfectly on the first try, I shouldn’t start at all.” Writing that rule down on paper takes it out of the shadows and puts it where you can examine it.
2. Thank the Part of You That Built It
This might sound deceptively simple, but self-compassion is the fastest way to disarm internal resistance. Acknowledge that this habit or fear was once trying to keep you safe. You don’t need to go to war with your own mind; you just need to let it know that circumstances have changed.
3. Write a Kinder, Updated Rule
Ask yourself: Who am I today, and what rule actually serves me now?
For example:
- Old Rule:“I must have the whole five-year plan figured out before I take a step.”
- Updated Rule:“I only need to see the next small, gentle step. Clarity comes from movement, not overthinking.”
- Old Rule:“Resting means I’m falling behind.”
- Updated Rule:“Pacing my energy is how I build sustainable momentum.”
4. Test the Edges Gently
You don’t have to leap off a cliff to prove you’ve overcome a block. Growth happens best when we gently expand our comfort zone rather than shattering it. Pick one tiny, low-stakes action this week that aligns with your new rule, something small enough that your internal alarm bells stay quiet, but meaningful enough to prove to yourself that you are moving forward.
Pause & Reflect
Where in your life right now are you feeling frustrated with yourself for being “stuck”? If you look closely at that hesitation, what old rule is trying to protect you, and what is one gentler truth you could replace it with today?
Written by Stuart
Combining 20 years of systems thinking in engineering and leadership with 15+ years as a creative photographer and holistic practitioner. Exploring mindset, overcoming blocks, and sustainable personal growth.